I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
