im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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