If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
