Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
