so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
