I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
