he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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