i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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