I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
His nipple licking is glorious
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