Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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