found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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