Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
