But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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