2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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