Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit

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(773): View more from Illinois

He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way

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