Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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