She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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