We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
