Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize