Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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