I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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