He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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