come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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