Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
