Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
