i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
