So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
