i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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