I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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