Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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