People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize