Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
