you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor