i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.