I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were trust falling into bushes