She is in my trunk
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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