I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
