Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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