In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
