FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
