i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize