Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize