how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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