I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
