It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
