Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
should my penis look like a turkey
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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