If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
