Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
