Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
