He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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