She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
