We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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