did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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