We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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