i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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