There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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