so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
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If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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