Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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