Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
