I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
